Osama is a Bad Father!

Sunday, March 07, 2004
Maybe we should have empathy for bin Laden after all. In addition to being a mass-murdering fascist and terrorist ape, Osama is also a inadequate father - bruised and tormented by the misbehavior of his rascally kids.

An excerpt from the London Telegraph:

Osama bin Laden's children mocked their despotic and obsessive father, secretly drinking Coca Cola and requiring bribes to memorise the Koran.

This unprecedented picture of bin Laden as a frustrated family tyrant comes from a self-described al-Qa'eda "black sheep", Abdurahman Khadr.

[...] Abdurahman told the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation that bin Laden had "issues with his wife, and he has issues with his kids. You know, the kids aren't listening, the kids aren't doing this and that."

[...] Bin Laden liked to play volleyball with his children, and take them shooting. "If he missed his [shot], they'd laugh at him," said Zaynab.

Forget the war on terrorism. What we really need is a legion of therapists to help Osama with his profound insecurities about family life. To answer: why do they hate us? Bratty children.