Kinder, Gentler Saddam

Tuesday, July 27, 2004
Does the the Butcher of Baghdad have a soft, sensitive side? According to reports, Saddam Hussein has been passing jail-time by eating muffins, writing poems, and tending to a garden -- presumably with an iron fist.

Glum Saddam writes poems about George Bush

Former Iraqi president Saddam Hussein appears depressed and demoralised in solitary confinement, spending his time writing poetry, tending a garden and reading the Qur'an


[Amin] reported that Saddam was being treated for high blood pressure and a chronic prostate infection [Who does the prostate inspections?], and was gaining weight after losing five kilograms during a time when he resisted all fatty foods.

Saddam and other detainees get an MRE (meal ready-to-eat) breakfast, and hot food twice a day, Amin said. Dessert might include oranges, apples, pears or plums, but Saddam also likes American muffins and biscuits. [The man's slaughtered millions of people, and we're serving him "pears and plums"?]


Amin said Saddam tends a garden during his daily three-hour exercise period.

"He is looking after a few bushes and shrubs and has even placed a circle of white stones around a small palm tree," said Amin. "His apparent care for his surroundings is ironic when you think he was responsible for one of the biggest ecocides when he drained the southern marshes."

Over at FARK.com, the nice Farkers have been supplying Saddam with some additional limericks and haikus. Here's my favorite:

That damn infidel
Whose muffins I now enjoy
Took Iraq from me

And here's one of my own:

My butt is quite sore
from the prostate inspections
Yet I enjoy this

Feel free to leave some asinine poetic nuggets below...