Tuesday, November 30, 2004
FYI, it was yours truly's birthday on Monday, the 29th of November. I'm now 16.

*Cue fake smile, contrived excitement*


That's No Kite

A strange triangular UFO -- sightings of which have been reported for decades -- has been making increasingly frequent appearances in the skies over America.

I don't usually buy into that conspiratorial "the-truth-is-out-there" crap, but this sure is spooky.

(Tin-foil hat-tip: Evil White Guy)

Shade of Gray

Believe it or not, the colors in boxes A and B are exactly the same...

(Dizzy hat-tip: Evil White Guy)

Dude, That's Like Totally RAD!

Monday, November 29, 2004
Following the success of its popular anal massage device, TARGET has begun selling marijuana online.

(Bong-tip: SondraK)

UPDATE: The TARGET website has been taken down, but the screenshot is available here.

Potty Mouth
What If?

Car Dance

Sunday, November 28, 2004
This commercial is so cool it gave me chills...

Oh, the Horror!

More sickening images of U.S. brutality in Iraq.

(WARNING: Graphic Content)

Dubya Movie

Don Knotts stars as George Bush in a film about a small-town Texan turned President of the United States.

President Ferrell
Bush's Drunken Wedding Party Rant

Sweet Revenge

Some early Christmas humor:

Bill Clinton

What an arrogant little prick he is.

Saint Clinton
Hand Demonstration
Bill's Bulging Boner
The Clinton Library Trailer

Thanks to the PC Police...

...the Declaration of Independence has been banned at a San Francisco school because it contains references to God.

I await the outraged response from the ACLU.

Religion Purged From Thanksgiving
Air Force Rejects Biblical E-mail Tags (Scroll down)
Military Bases Warned on Supporting Boy Scouts


Ukrainian opposition leader imitates Michael Jackson:

Yushchenko pictured left in July 2004 and in November, after his illness.

Big Bird

Some belated Thanksgiving comedy:

Muppet Cannibalism

Palestinian Big Bird
The Sex Lives of Muppets

Hooray for Mao!

Wednesday, November 24, 2004
Blogging will be light for the next few days as I'm headed to Shanghai (China) to visit some friends.

If I'm not back by Monday then I've probably been shipped off to a forced labor camp to work in coal mines and undergo socialist indoctrination.

Anyway, have a happy Thanksgiving.

Peek-A-Boob (III)

Tuesday, November 23, 2004
One of Tara Reid's mangled pancake nipples pops out on the red-carpet.

(NOT safe for work.)

John Kerry and Suha Arafat (II)

Monday, November 22, 2004
There's a new wealthy widow in town...

(Hat-tip: Curmudgeonly & Skeptical)

Gold Digging Opportunities


(Hat-tip: Curmudgeonly & Skeptical)

Astronomy Pranks

Rate My Site. Now.

Arafat's Surprise

(72 Hot Iron Pokers courtesy Evil White Guy)

Arafat's Obituary
Last-Minute Quickie
WMD Found in West Bank

Divided We Fail

Peking Duck posts an "incredible" picture from Iraq of a gang of terrorists waving RPGs and celebrating a successful ambush on a civilian convoy.

What disturbs me most about the picture is the context in which it is shown. The image is sneeringly touted as evidence that America has failed to beat the insurgents, that despite our proclamations of victory in Fallujah, we are still losing. What the picture represents, then, is a sort of morbid pornography -- a pornography disseminated by liberals for their own gruesome pleasure.

Leftists bask in the blood-bath and revel in the ghastly imagery because the war's horrors reinforce their belief that the invasion was a brutal neo-imperialist crusade and that the endeavor in Iraq is doomed to fail. Thus, what the Left exhibits today is a fetish for fiasco.

So to all those leftists out there who enjoy looking at pictures of mutilated civilians and victorious terrorists: please, for the love of your country, for the love of all the values and principles that you claim to hold dear, grow some balls, stop wallowing in the fever-swamps of defeatism and at least pretend to be on our side!

Because at the end of the day, we're all in this together. We win together, and we lose together. And WE cannot afford to lose.

Bovine of the Day (II)

Kirstie "Breast-Feed-My-Possum" Alley is so damn fat that (thank God) she's renounced sex...

Now there's a woman that belongs on a ranch.

Madeleine Albright's Many Chins

Iraqi Cook Book

"First, bake the infidel's head in an oven pre-heated to 300 degrees..."

Sporting Wood

Another all-too-conspicuous bulge...

"Scoring a perfect goal is like an orgasm. Things can happen in your body that you are not aware of."

Look On the Bright Side

News from Iraq -- with an optimistic twist.

Old Men Crying


Inappropriate Professions for the Blind

WARNING: Content may be considered offensive to individuals with differently-abled eyes.

** Art critic
** Movie critic ["I didn't see it, per se, but it sounded great!"]
** Judge at beauty pageant ["Come here, let me feel you."]
** Hand-writing analyst ["Sorry, I only do brail."]


A Picture's Worth 45,000 Hits

Sunday, November 21, 2004
What Dick Cheney's dick did for my traffic:

Sorry, but the phallic connotations are unavoidable.

We're On Top

Saturday, November 20, 2004
The political situation for the next for years:

(Political Rape courtesy SondraK)

Official Seal of the Democratic Party
Hung Like an Elephant

Bovine of the Day

One woman I would not like to see in a Playboy center-fold:

Madeleine Albright was the Secretary of Hags Sagging Boobs State under President Clinton. In comparison, she makes Condi look like a Paris runway model.

(Michael Moore's Sister courtesy SondraK)

Hags for Kerry
Call Sea World

Finding Nemo

Friday, November 19, 2004
The alternate ending...

(Hat-tip: Evil White Guy)

Was Bush Involved?

Photo corroborates Cheney/sex-slave story

Bean Bags (II)

Are those testicles or over-sized water balloons hanging from their crotches?

(Fleshy Coconuts courtesy SondraK)

Heavy Load
Scrotal Safety Commission
Ball-on-Ball Violence

Day-Time Pundits

Beautiful Atrocities explores the socio-political beliefs of the cast of Days of Our Lives. And surprisingly a large number are conservatives.


Thursday, November 18, 2004

Condi's Freudian Slip
Marital Tension

Condi: Warrior Princess

Another installment in the Condoleeza-Rice-as-a-kick-ass-superhero series:

(Condi-Conan courtesy Conservative Legion)

Blue Humor

A shining example of enlightened liberalism:


Note to Self

Do not attempt to fly a helicopter without first learning how to fly a helicopter.


Wednesday, November 17, 2004
It's a sentiment shared by many.

Lady Talk

Tuesday, November 16, 2004
Give these gossiping gals a caption. (HINT: It might have something to do with Dick's dong.)

(Lurid Whispers courtesy Florida Cracker)

Pull My Finger

"C'mon, give it a little tug. You know you want to."

Mock and Saw (III)

U.S. forces in Fallujah have discovered the mutilated torso of a murdered female hostage. The description is almost too gruesome to bear:

In the south of Fallujah yesterday, US Marines found the armless, legless body of a blonde woman, her throat slashed and her entrails cut out. Benjamin Finnell, a hospital apprentice with the US Navy Corps, said that she had been dead for a while, but at that location for only a day or two. The woman was wearing a blue dress; her face had been disfigured. It was unclear if the remains were the body of the Irish-born aid worker Margaret Hassan, 59, or of Teresa Borcz, 54, a Pole abducted two weeks ago. Both were married to Iraqis and held Iraqi citizenship; both were kidnapped in Baghdad last month.

It is America's moral duty to expunge these terrorist cretins from the Earth. The Republicans have led the battle with clarity and iron resolve; meanwhile, the Democrats have sat on the sidelines and jeered.

What a terrible pity it is that liberals today lack the moral backbone to defend their ostensible values against the wicked Islamo-fascist onslaught.

Mock and Saw (GRAPHIC)
Mock and Saw -- II (GRAPHIC)

Are You Insane?

Here's how to tell:

(Hat-tip: Curmudgeonly & Skeptical)

Karl Rove and Gays

Peking Duck cites a Washington Post editorial denouncing Karl Rove, Bush's political master-mind, for stoking up homophobic fears among Evangelical types.

It is undoubtedly true that Rove and his minions have engaged in shameless gay-baiting in order to galvanize the conservative base. That said, didn't Bush endorse civil unions right before the election, most likely at the advice of Rove himself?

I'm not excusing the tactics of the Evil Chubby Genuis. I'm simply saying that in America there does exist a market for moderation and tolerance, and that Rove isn't so blinded by homophobic rage that he's unwilling to exploit it, too.

I Rove Karl

God Forbid

(Hat-tip: Conservative Legion)

John Kerry and Suha Arafat

A match made in Gold Digger heaven.


Yes, the John Kerry jokes are outmoded -- but it's hard to stop...


Speaking of gold diggers:


Liberal pit-bull James Carville slaps an egg on his face:


The guy's nutzo...


Maybe he just sneezed...

(I know what you're thinking. Don't go there.)

Where is the Outrage?

$21.3 billion: the amount of revenue that Saddam scammed from the U.N. Oil-for-Palaces Food program.

0: the number of in-depth New York Times investigations into the scandal.

The UN is Evil

Wonder Woman

No comment.


Frightening, yet oddly sexy:


"Take this, terrorist bitch."

"I'll Drive"

Condoleeza Rice has been appointed the new Secretary of State. She replaces Colin Powell, one of my all-time favorite politicians, and the only man in the Bush Administration to recognize the riskiness of the war in Iraq.

James Lileks welcomes the news:

Yay Condi Rice. I want her to go to Saudi Arabia, and I want her first words upon getting off the plane to be "I'll drive."

Helicopter Game

This is so neat.


Conservative Cartography

An accurate rendering of the electoral divide:

(Double hat-tip: SondraK, Hog on Ice)

Cool Electoral Maps

More Traffic Than an L.A. Freeway

Sunday, November 14, 2004
Apparently the picture of Dick Cheney's third leg has caused quite a buzz. When I say buzz, I mean the kind of noise you'd expect to hear if the Earth were being enveloped in a swarm of hornets.

Thousands of visitors are pouring in to feast their eyes on the Vice-President's superhuman phallus. For an obscure little blogger like myself, all the attention is quite staggering.

A few hat-tips are in order. Thank you, Jesus' General, for digging up the pic. Thank you, Andrew Sullivan, for sparking the conflagration. And Dick Cheney, thank you: without your monster-sized penis, none of this would have been possible.

I forgot one: SondraK, who picked it up first.

Packing Meat

Saturday, November 13, 2004
Dick Cheney is very glad to see you!

No wonder the man's been short of breath lately: he's got a wang the size of a chew toy.


Judging by the cantaloupe-sized bulge in his flight suit, the President sports a similarly sized package -- either that or Karl Rove has been "stuffing the ballot".


He's so modest...


Top Ten Shocking Facts About Dick Cheney

10. To make himself more appealing to Bush, executed 47 people in Wyoming

9. Once dressed up as a bellhop to meet 'N Sync

8. Recently caught scribbling "George + Cheney" during strategy meeting

7. Accused of conflict of interest after voting in favor of tax cut for bald guys

6. For brief 6-month period in 1974, known as Rita Cheney

5. As Secretary of Defense, approved "Arms For Gyros" deal with Greece

4. He's fat

3. Told Bush only place he plans on campaigning is "Margaritaville"

2. Spends 17 hours a day at "Big Brother" website looking at exotic dancer

1. Picks up chicks by claiming to be Alan Greenspan

+1. Considers frozen custard a turn-on


Could it be that the Vice President was wearing an incontinence bag?

(Hat-tip: Jesus' General)



What a pimp...


Let's not forget Al Gore's mighty bulge:

(Hat-tip: Photoshop)


Kerry takes the cake with his super-elongated penis...


"My preciousssss..."

Despotic Romance

Friday, November 12, 2004
Saddam Hussein and Yasser Arafat star in "Dick-tators Gone Wild".

Last-Minute Quickie

Dry-humping Arafat's coffin...

(Palestinian Necrophilia courtesy Little Green Footballs)