An Excuse for Being Fat

Tuesday, December 14, 2004
That's not an oversized baby in her stomach. That's a tumor.

The monstrous 66 lb. clump had been growing in the woman's stomach for over a year before it was finally removed.

Geez. How long did it take her to realize that something was wrong? Was she in the shower one day, soaping up, when she suddenly noticed that her belly was as large as a beach ball?

And once you've discovered the tumor, then what? Do you rush to the emergency room? Do you call up and scheldule an appointment with a doctor?

"Hi, I'd like to meet with Dr. Jones... My complaint? Well, there's a tumor the size of the Sputnik satellite hanging from my lower body. Right. Tuesday at 4? OK, that's great. Thank you."

And does the tumor interfere with your social life? I mean, are you able to go out to a movie or have dinner at a restaurant with friends?

And do people ask about the tumor, or is too embarassing to bring up?

"Gosh, Margaret, you've gained a lot of weight recently. Is everything all right?"

"Oh, yeah. It's just a giant tumor. I'm having it checked out on Tuesday."


Those doctors look awfully proud. Like a fisherman displaying a big catch.

Bean Bag
Scrotal Water-Balloons