Dirty Talk

Monday, January 31, 2005

More Fly Sex
Fly-by Thorning

Question of the Day

Is it possible to strangle someone with dental floss?

More Subliminal Advertising

Taking a Breather

I'll be very busy for the next week so expect a short lull in blogging.

In the meantime, I suggest you pick up the first season of 24 and watch it in its 18-hour entirety -- as I did this weekend with a few friends. Simply put, 24 is the most incredible TV show ever made; and I say in all seriousness that watching it changed my life.

More on that later...


Here's an editorial I wrote for my school newspaper. Enjoy.

"Stingy"? I Don't Think So.

The tsunami disaster that ravaged South Asia triggered one of the most massive relief missions in history. Billions of dollars are flowing into the afflicted regions to help the countless survivors whose entire livelihoods were swept away by the sea.

The images of orphans weeping for their parents, and of whole towns reduced to mud and rubble, have spurred an unprecedented outpouring of compassion from the people of the West.

But for one U.N. official, the aid mustered by Western nations was inadequate. In the immediate wake of the disaster, Jan Egeland, the U.N. Undersecretary-General for Humanitarian Affairs, accused rich governments of being "stingy". Following his lead, many critics, including the New York Times, singled out the United States for its miserly response.

Not only is the criticism inaccurate, it is also unfair and offensive. America is indisputably one of the most generous countries in the world, having been at the forefront of every major humanitarian endeavor in modern times. Last year the U.S. government donated about $15 billion to global humanitarian causes -- almost double the amount of second-place Japan -- and was the source of 60 percent of the world's food aid.

America's reaction to the tsunami aftermath was swift and extraordinary. For the first time in history, America mobilized an aircraft carrier to deliver aid instead of bombs. U.S. and Australian military helicopters were the first to arrive in the disaster zone, bringing much-needed supplies to thousands of desperate survivors. Indeed, after recovering from his initial outrage, Mr. Egeland lauded America's contributions as a "godsend".

For its part, the Bush Administration has pledged hundreds of millions of dollars, and American corporations have chipped in an additional $300 million.

Here in Singapore, evidence of Americans' generosity abounds. Within only a few days of the tsunami, the American Club organized a charity drive to collect everything from clothing to sleeping bags to cash. And here at the American School, Peace Initiative launched a campaign to raise money for the victims. Thanks to some deep pocket-digging on the part of students and faculty, when the campaign ended on Monday, it had exceeded its $50,000 target by an impressive $10,000.

Though America is now scaling-down its direct military involvement in the humanitarian operation, and has relinquished its leadership role to the United Nations, U.S. money will still be hard at work in the region. After all, given that U.S. tax dollars account for a whopping one fifth of the U.N.'s total budget, it’s likely that much of the money being spent in disaster relief will have been made in America.

The victims of the tsunami can also expect a lasting flow of private money from the American people. Annual private donations from U.S. citizens, which total $34 billion, exceed the annual U.N. budget by 10 times. In fact, while Americans give an average of $641 per head to charities every year, the comparative figure for Europeans -- who often boast of their supposed graciousness -- is a paltry $51.

America should be proud of its tremendous and vital contributions to humanitarian causes worldwide, and its response to the tsunami disaster deserves praise rather than derision. America the Stingy? I think not.

The Iraqi Elections

Sunday, January 30, 2005
This cartoon sums it up:

(h/t: Cox & Forkum)

Subliminal Advertising

Friday, January 28, 2005

Homer, Dr. Evil Unavailabe for Comment

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Man robs doughnut business with laser

Never Forget. Never Again.

60 years on, the evil is still as vivid as ever:

The evil of Nazi Germany may have been extinguished, but evil itself has not. Today, it has recast itself in the form of the Islamic terrorists:

Freedom vs. Islamism

Leftists believe that Islamic terrorism is a reaction to U.S. policies in the Middle East. But the reality is that the terrorists are at war with freedom and democracy. But don't take my word for it. Here's Abu Zarqawi in his own words:

"We have declared a fierce war on this evil principle of democracy and those who follow this wrong ideology."

The war on terrorism is a struggle that pits a fascist brand of Islam against the civilized world. Indeed, the survival of enlightenment values depends on our victory in this struggle.

The Islamo-fascists understand the threat that democracy -- particularly the kind taking place in Iraq -- poses to their barbaric and medieval aspirations, and so they are doing everything in their power to prevent freedom from putting down roots in the Middle East.

Whatever my misgivings with the war -- and I have many -- I stand wholeheartedly behind America in its battle with the Islamist Mafia.

Simply put, we cannot let them to succeed.

Well, That's Their Job

Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Suicide bomber blows self up

(WARNING: Graphic!)

Drop Your Weapon!

A robbery that backfired...

(Hat-tip: Evil White Guy)

Help! Our Plane Has Been Hijacked By Nudists!

Virgin is good, Hooters is better -- but *this* is just downright vile.

(WARNING: The above link contains graphic images of naked white trash. Viewer discretion is advised.)

The. Best. Commercial. EVER.


Unlikely Sequels

(via FARK.com)

Sunny Side-Up

Tuesday, January 25, 2005
When I logged onto CNN.com this morning I immediately cracked a smile.


Because of this.

Kudos to CNN for putting a positive story about Iraq on its front-page.

If democracy can win followers in the Sunni heartland only five miles from Fallujah, in an area that was thought to be implacably hostile to democratic governance, then that bodes exceptionally well for the upcoming elections, which could potentially mark a turning-point in the transformation of Iraq and the Middle East.

Let's keep our fingers crossed.

Springtime For Hitler

My new all-time favorite tune.

Sing-along or die!

Deutschland Disco

Survivor Found 1 Month After Tsunami

Monday, January 24, 2005
Tom Hanks reportedly unimpressed.

The Story

Off With Their Heads

Another two hostages have been decapitated by terrorist sub-humans in Iraq. And this time the victims were Arab.

I now await the angry outcry from the Muslim world.

*crickets chirping*

The video and images can be found here. The content is obviously extremely gruesome, so view at your own risk.

What's sad about these beheadings is that they're now so routine that the media doesn't even bother mentioning them anymore.

With brutality like this becoming mundane, we can only hope that the terrorists' forgotten victims will be duly avenged, and that their murderers will be promptly delivered into the bowels of hell.

And to that end: Go Bush.

"Bask in My Nuance!"

Some price captions from Wizbang:

"Don't cry for me, Argentina!"

"Missed it by that much."

"I swear, I'll do one better than Al Gore. I'll grow my 'I Lost The Presidency Beard' out THIS far!"


Sunday, January 23, 2005

(via FARK)

Watch This Video

But keep a bucket nearby -- you might vomit.

When Protesters Attack

It Gets Worse

32 Years and 43 Million Dead Fetuses Later

Today marks the thirty-second anniversary of a landmark legal ruling that led to the deaths of innumerable unborn children.

Nearly 43 million "fetuses" have been dimembered and flushed out of their mothers' uteruses since the Roe v Wade decision in 1973; that's seven times the number of Jews murdered in the Holocaust.

The ruling - which overrided state laws by making abortion a Constitutional entitlement - was a heinous exercise of judicial activism. It was based on two flimsy and contrived assumptions: one, that the Fourth Amendment, which protects citizens against unwarranted search and seizure, implies a right to privacy; and, two, that abortion is a private matter -- and therefore a right guaranteed under the Constitution.

The ruling sparked a super-heated culture war that rages to this day. The debate itself has become so repetitive that it would be pointless to rehash all the arguments. What is worth noting is that Jane Roe (aka, Norma McCorvey), the woman at the center of the case, recently filed a petition with the court asking it to revoke the ruling.

Here's hoping it does.

Post-abortion Pictures
Competing Messages
Example of Pro-Life Extremist
The "I Love Abortion" T-Shirt
I'm Not Sorry

Ettore & Rosanna

A real-life Shakespearian tragedy.

Icy Peaks (III)

Saturday, January 22, 2005
"Is it nipply in here?"

Toyota's Powerful Air-conditioner
Now That's Cold
Britney Pulls a Janet

Question of the Day

Have you ever pooped or peed in your pants?

If so, I'd love to hear about it. (Please be as detailed as possible.)

"Special" Food

A collection of deformed food items.

Gummy-bear Breast Implants

Thumbs Down

I despised Bush's inaugural speech. His "liberty" spiel amounted to little more than grand boilerplate. He offered nothing concrete -- only vague, histrionic proclamations about the need to advance democracy in the world.

Call me an isolationist, but I don't care anymore about eliminating the world's tyrannies and "spreading liberty" to the dark reaches of the globe. It's not an achievable goal. The majority of the world's tyrannies are here to stay until the tide of globalisation rolls in and knocks them down.

What I do care about is bringing the troops home.

Unfortunately, if the more deluded neo-cons in Washington have their way, American soldiers will be getting shot at in the streets of Damascus and Tehran sometime within the next four years.

God forbid.

A Keyboard for Pirates

Friday, January 21, 2005

Long John Muhammed

Truth With a Capital BS

Larry, the tireless liberal crusader who runs BlameBush, has unravelled the conspiracy and sinister cover-up behind the assassination of gay-rights campaigner Martin Luther King -- whose ostensible murderer, James Earl Ray, was in fact a helpless pawn of Texan oil barons.

So who was the real man behind the trigger? Well, let's just say that Larry has found some awfully compelling evidence linking the assassination to a certain 43rd President...

VW Bomb

It's like a hamster blowing up in a microwave, only funnier.


(No, the ad was not produced by Volkswagen.)

It's Complicated
Car Dance


Talk about tasteless car commercials -- this one takes the cake!

Live Inauguration Coverage

Thursday, January 20, 2005
President Bush addresses the nation:

(Just kidding. Sorta.)

Election Coverage
Convention Coverage


I simply can't stand Bush anymore.

"Freedom is on the march", "democracy will prevail," blah blah blah.

It's inane boilerplate like this that makes me yearn for the the cynical conservatives -- the down-to-earth realists who understand the world, and who speak in clear, crisp, and meaningful terms.

The fact is, I'm tired of Bush's flowery platitudes. I'm tired of the mindlessly repeated catch-phrases about democracy and freedom. The President's rhetoric used to be inspiring; now it's just trite.

Bush will go down in history as a brave pipe-dreamer whose delusions of American grandeur cost the country billions. The next four years will bring the collapse of those delusions, the erosion of the Republican majority, and the continued isolation of the United States.

And I say this as somebody who supported Bush's re-election -- which goes to show how pathetic the alternative was.

Faking It

A good smattering of mayonnaise will do the trick.

Condi Caption

"Oh, so YOU'RE the sorry-ass leftist hag who questioned my integrity... Nice to see you!"

"Has anyone ever told you you look severely constipated?"

"I see John Kerry hooked you up with his plastic surgeon."

"Fuck. You."

Some select captions via SondraK:

"How nice to see you Senator Troll..."

"Get out of my sight before I bitchslap your liberal cracker ass."

"Jesus! What kind of fucked up drugs did you do to get that trailer park complexion?"

"Sen. Boxer, I have an idea for you with respect to those aluminum tubes."

"Yeah, thats right, you my bitch. You KNOW you my bitch!!"

"You grab me there again and you won't be able to strain soup through your ass."

The Artificial Vagina

Wednesday, January 19, 2005
A sex toy for horny horses.

I think I might buy one of these for myself...

Clinton Digs Marine Mammals

The resemblance between this dolphin and Monica Lewinsky is truly uncanny.

You Can't Win Hearts & Minds...

...when you're orphaning children.

Germans? Racist? No Way!

A profile of Condoleeza Rice in a German newspaper has this to say about the most powerful woman in the world:

"Always at the Service of her Master George W. Bush: Condoleezza Rice."

If I were to do a profile of the German people, I might write this:

"Always at the service of their fascist megalomaniac dictators: the Germans."


This vile cartoon appeared in the New York Times:

Given this racist trash, it's astonishing to me that blacks still vote overwhelmingly for the Democrats.

Blue Humor
Ted Troll
Kennedy Plays Hardball

Cat Fight!

Boxer Questions Rice 'Respect for the Truth'

I say they settle this by mud-wrestling. (Bill Clinton can officiate.)

Long, Firm, Supple Bananas

Monday, January 17, 2005
I sense some erotic connotations in this Dole ad.

The Banana Guard

Oh, the Humanity!

News Flash: Men and Women are Different

The President of Harvard has provoked feminazi outrage by saying that women lack "natural talent" in certain fields. His claim clashes with the female-supremacist world-view, in which women are enlightened super-beings capable of doing anything, and men are dumb, violent brutes who would be dispensable if it weren't for the sperm.

But let me ask you this: If society can accept that men are far more likely than women to go to prison due to their innate aggressive tendencies, then why can't society also accept that man's capacity for aggression makes him more likely to become, say, a CEO or an accomplished scientist? In other words, if society is willing to acknowledge what's bad about men, then why won't it also acknowledge the good?

Men are less likely to become teachers because they usually lack the nurtuing qualities that women have. Indeed, I've never heard a man blame the rarity of male teachers on a matriarchal regime controlling the school system. By the same token, women are less likely to become CEOs because they often lack the shrewdness to excel in the dog-eat-dog world of business, and because their career priorities frequently conflict with their desire to raise children.

Feminists like to attribute the dearth of female CEOs to a mythical patriarchy bent on suppressing women. But there's only a grain of truth in that old feminist canard. In fact, most gender disparities are the result of the basic biological differences that separate the sexes.

I'm going to ranckle a lot of nerves by saying this, but I'm going to say it anyway, because someone has to:

Women would have never put a woman on the moon. Women would have never stormed the beaches of Normandy. Women aren't any better or worse than men. But they ARE different, and thus, they are capable of different things.

That's reality. Get over it. And get me a beer.

Sexy Women and Coffins

A necrophiliac's dream calendar.

Tiananmen Humor

Massacres can be funny!

Where's Waldo?


Defective Tanks


Where is Everyone?

Big Bargains!


Images of the Massacre

Jesus Shampoo

Leaves your hair feeling bloody, matted and full of thorns!

(Offended Christians, take comfort in the fact that I will burn in hell for this.)

Not Included

Bad Omens

Sunday, January 16, 2005
"And if you look to your right you'll see the burned-out hulk of one of our former airplanes..."

The Liberal Big Brother

A conservative college student has put together a must-watch documentary on teacher bias, which highlights unbelievable horror stories of leftist fascism on colleges around the nation. The stories are so ludicrous and outrageous and disgusting that they'll have you laughing and crying at the same time.

In one case, a student ended up in court for posting a flier on a bulletin board. (The student's $40,000 worth of legal fees were eventually reimbursed by the university). In another case, an entire fraternity was expelled after five students went to an off-campus Halloween party dressed up as the Jackson Five and wearing blackface.

Ironically, at the same university, a member of a school committee who sent out an e-mail advising students to "shoot the fucking ragheads in the face" received no similar reprimand. (The "raghead" in question had written an editorial in the student conservative newspaper blasting the university's Orwellian "speech code" -- thus provoking the ire of leftists, who tolerate other ethnicities so long as they stay on the plantation.)

When a group of students started a non-political petition demanding that the administration take action against such flagrant hate speech, a professor called the police and had the petition shut down.

The film also features an economics professor at Blackwell University gushing about Marxism and "black and feminist political economy" (whatever that means). My blood pressure took a considerable jump when the said professor defined "derogatory speech" as anything that may be considered "offensive" to any particular group.

The video is forty minutes long so you might want to bookmark it and watch it in parts. But don't miss it. It proves in jaw-dropping detail that the leftist Thought Police are alive and active on America's campuses.

School Promotes "Anti-Racist" Math

The Mother of a MILF

Friday, January 14, 2005



A potential candidate for GILF-dom:

Competing Messages

Thursday, January 13, 2005
This is beautiful:

Post-Abortion Pictures
Foaming at the Mouth

Leave Some Children Behind

This is what you call Social Darwinism.

Constipated Fascist

Wednesday, January 12, 2005



The royal fascist:

Good News For a Change

Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Despite the overwhelming gloominess of the situation in Iraq, there are a few significant glimmers of hope. This poll of Iraqi women is one sign that the country is progressing, albeit haltingly, down the democratic path:

-- 94% of women surveyed want to secure legal rights for women.
-- 84% of women want the right to vote on the final constitution.
-- Nearly 80% of women believe that their participation in local and national councils should not be limited.
-- The most unexpected result of the survey is that despite increasing violence, particularly violence against women, 90.6% of Iraqi women reported that they are hopeful about their future.

Nary a peep has been heard from feminists about the revolutionary strides made by Iraqi and especially Afghan women over the past three years.

For the first time in Arab history, millions of Muslim women in Iraq and Afghanistan have been afforded the chance to vote and even to run for political office. Yet apparently western feminists are too busy vilifying America to care.

(Chador-tip: Normblog)

Screw It

(via Conservative Legion)

Critter Christmas

I just saw the sickest and most awesome South Park episode ever. Without revealing the plot, I'll simply say that it involves -- among other things -- a virgin porcupine giving birth to the anti-Christ, a Satanic animal blood-orgy, a shot-gun wielding Santa Claus, and a trio of lion cubs performing an anal abortion.

Brilliance. Sheer brilliance.

Photographic Proof...

...that Michael Moore is an asshole.

That's One Long Icicle

(Hat-tip: Amber)

Isn't It Ironic...

...that the only Arab countries holding elections this year are under Western occupation?

The Tsunami Conspiracy

Monday, January 10, 2005
According to an Egyptian newspaper, the Asian tsunami was triggered by a secret nuclear test conducted by India, Israel, and the United States as part of a plot to liquidate the Muslim populations in Sri Lanka and Indonesia.


The earthquake that struck the Indian Ocean on December 26, triggering a series of huge waves called tsunami, "was possibly" caused by an Indian nuclear experiment in which "Israeli and American nuclear experts participated," an Egyptian weekly magazine reported Thursday.

According to Al-Osboa', India, in its heated nuclear race with Pakistan, has lately received sophisticated nuclear know-how from the United States and Israel, both of which "showed readiness to cooperate with India in experiments to exterminate humankind."

You know, I'm beginning to suspect that the Arab world is clinically insane.


The plot has thickened...

It turns out the tsunami wasn't an evil conspiracy to annihilate Muslims after all, but was rather a divine act brought down by Allah in order to punish Christians for the perversion and moral corruption that pervaded the Christmas holidays, and which festered in the wicked tourist resorts cleansed from the earth by Allah's Waves of Wrath.

Ah, so now it makes sense!

Karate Chimp

This chimp could kick Jane Goodall's ass.