Obama bin Laden
Sunday, February 27, 2005
That's enough liquor for you, Senator Kennedy
The Effects of Caffeine
What is red and is creeping up your leg?
An abortion with homesickness.
These Boots Are Made for Strutting
Is Condoleeza Rice auditioning for a part in the Matrix
I don't know about you, but I think Condoleeza is one smokin' hot Secretary of State...
One More Reason to Switch to Mac
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Gates' PC Crashes on Stage
Of course, it's not the first time...
Bill Gates Gets Creamed
Microsoft Crash Gallery
Oh, one more thing...MICROSOFT SUCKS BALLS!
Monday, February 21, 2005
Mother Nature has a big dick:
Speaking of big dicks
He's No Negro!
Everyone knows that Condoleeza Rice is Bush's "house nigga"
and that his Cabinet contains fewer minority members than the staff of your average hotel
. What you probably didn't know is that Bush is now trying to pass off his white intelligence chief as a black man.
Despite John Negro
ponte's minority-sounding name, it would in fact be more appropriate to call him Mr. Blanco
ponte, since -- as BlameBush proves in typical stunning fashion -- he's a blatant whitey
The Truth about Chick Flicks
Paris Hilton's Phone Book
Thanks to some brave hackers who downloaded the contacts list
on Paris Hilton's cellphone, you can now give Christina Aguilera a ring at 323-314-1960 and tell her what a fat, disgusting skank
she has become!
The original site has taken down the numbers, but Sondra, bless her soul, has saved a copy
Sunday, February 20, 2005
Another installment in a long series of unlikely divine apparitions
Man sees Jesus in clipboard
People have reported seeing religious images in all kinds of things and places, and now a Cleveland man says he sees an image of Jesus in a clipboard.
Douglas Snead says he's had this clipboard for many years. But only recently pulled it out of a closet and discovered the image.
The 74-year-old says many of his friends and even his nurse can see the face of Jesus in the details of the board.
He doesn't know why its there but believes God is sending a message.
As for me, all I see is wood.
Would You Pay $75,100...
...for a french fry that resembles Abraham Lincoln
You Can't Handle the Toppings!
Jack Nicholson attempts to order a pizza
100 Ways to Order a Pizza
Hey, Watch Out for That...
Another Great Product from Apple
Scientist Invents Musical Condoms
As if the United Nations wasn't a big enough farce already, the infamous U.N. Human Rights Commission
has appointed Zimbabwe, Saudi Arabia, and Cuba to the Working Group on Situations, which, as the New Republic
describes it, is "a five-member panel that makes final decisions on which human-rights petitions receive consideration before the full 53-member commission."
In other words, a hideous trio of the world's grossest human rights violators have been given final say in determining which human rights issues will be brought up and addressed at the U.N.
What's more, the bureaucrat in charge of running the commission -- a Moroccan woman by the name of Halima Warzazi -- has deemed only two human rights issues worthy of discussion: one, America's detention of terrorist suspects in Guantanamo Bay; and two, the similarities between Israel and Nazi Germany.
And America is supposed to take this hunking pile of bureaucratic shit seriously? Please.
The UNron Scandal
Saturday, February 19, 2005
The trip was great. Now, back to business.
Sunday, February 13, 2005
...But you're fucked.
Yay for radical lefties running a mainstream party! Wheeeeeeee!
Goodbye For Now
Thursday, February 10, 2005
Today I'm headed on a school trip to a little island in the Pacific called Palau
. For the next week I'll be SCUBA diving there, which means that you'll have to go without my website for an entire seven days. I know it will be excruciatingly difficult, but I'm sure you'll survive -- if just barely.
In the meantime, go patronize these wonderful blogs:SondraK
Curmudgeonly & Skeptical
The Jesse Factor
Shut Your Trap...
How Dare He!
I could tolerate bin Laden's vowing to crush the infidels, but this
-- this just crosses the line.
Caught in the Door
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
I hate it when this happens.
A Couple of Musings
I was riding in a taxi today when two rather odd thoughts occurred to me out of the blue.
ONE: What's so unspeakably hideous about nose-picking? Nose-picking
is often a very necessary activity. For example, have you ever had a large booger
lodged in the back of your nostril, and every time you breathe you can feel it being pushed back and forth? Well, the only way to remove such a booger is to insert your finger, poke around, and drag it out. I know that nose-picking is a major social taboo, but at the very worst it is a necessary evil, like genital-scratching, nail-biting, and bunghole-scraping...... What? You mean, no one else scrapes their bunghole? Oh, OK -- moving on....
TWO: Certain types of burglary may be beneficial to the economy. Think about it. If a man purchases a diamond ring for, say, $5,000, it is likely that the ring will remain on a woman's finger and then, once she dies, be passed on through tht efmailiiy. But if the ring is stolen, it can be resold, and the proceeds from the ring can be recirculated, therefore boosting the economy. In fact, by the time the ring has been purchased, stolen, and resold, it will have doubled its value to the economy.
Of course, I'm not encouraging robbery -- I'm merely saying that, from a raw economic stand-point, it's not an entirely bad thing.
Left-wing Reading Material
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
If only President Bush had shown up at the Inauguration wearing a pair of these
Remember This Face
Sunday, February 06, 2005
I have a confession to make: I'm a blue-stater. And a Bush-supporter. It sounds oxymoronic, but it's true. All my characteristics are consistent with those of a blue-stater and contrary to those of a red-stater.
- I despise football but enjoy playing badminton and tennis.
- I hate the South.
- I love New York and Los Angeles.
- I am not particularly fond of barbeques.
- I have never eaten road-kill.
- I have a full set of teeth.
- I have never worn a cowboy hat and/or dirty overalls.
- I have never referred to a group of people as "y'all".
- I have never called my mother "Ma".
- I have never used the expression "I'm gonna kill myself a queer".
- I have never resided in a trailer.
- I believe that Jesus was a wandering hippie, not a gun-toting, white-robed Rambo.
- I do not own a shotgun.
- I have never engaged in sexual relations with my immediate family.
- I am sophisticated, cultured, and well-informed.
If you think I'm grossly steretyping the average red-stater, then you're wrong. All red-staters are exactly as they're described. There are no exceptions whatsoever.
The secret to beating a lie detector test
Saturday, February 05, 2005
Hide Your iPod, Here Comes Bill
A Shot of Wisdom
"When two people are in an elevator and one of them farts, everyone knows who did it."
Right You Are
An movie to be shown at the Sundance Film Festival refers to Vice-President Cheney as "America's Biggest Dick"
Indeed, it's true
Where the Sun Don't Shine
Friday, February 04, 2005
This guy's been there
(Crap-tip: Conservative Legion
The Sky is Falling
Quick, ready the wormhole
My butt while I'm taking a dump:
In case you're wondering, the red ball is a large hemmorhoid.
(Gratuitous Potty Humor
Hubble takes pictures of
my asshole exploding star
is what hippies do in their free time.
I know that distracted drivers are a threat to road safety, but is this
Cops use plane to nab apple-eating driver
LONDON (Reuters) - Police called in a spotter plane, helicopter and video-equipped patrol car to help convict a woman who ate an apple while driving to work, newspapers have reported.
After nine court hearings and a trial lasting more than two hours, nursery nurse Sarah McCaffery was fined 60 pounds on Monday when a court upheld a police decision to give her a penalty ticket.
Police used the plane, helicopter and car to film road conditions on the route she took in Tyneside, northeast England, after officers pulled her over in December 2003.
"It is a joke they put so much effort into this," McCaffery, 23, told the Sun newspaper on Tuesday. "You would think they had better things to do."
She said she had both hands on the wheel of her Ford Ka and was driving safely.
But police and public prosecutors said she was not in control and they were obliged to gather evidence when she chose to fight the fine in court.
Come Here, Baby
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Behold the seductive powers of Bill Gates...
Bill Gates' Collection of Sexy Poses
Think about it.
A Wal-Mars would complete this picture:
100 Years of Reason
Happy Birthday, Ayn Rand
You were a nut-job, but you changed the world.