Ways to Find My Website

Search "turd chin" on Google. My site comes up as the second result. The first result is a very freaky, scatologically-themed porn site called Mistress Julie's Dungeon, which features "erotic stories" about women eating feces.

This line in particular really got to me: "It blossomed out until I could see the blunt end of her turd."

Mmm... blunt turds... THAT'S HOT.

Speaking of excrement, imagine the tremendous sphincter stamina needed to squeeze out this rock-hard piece of crap.




SEE ALSO:
This, this, this, and this.

KKK-Mart

The #1 Source For All Your White-Supremacist Needs!

I was "brain-storming", aka daydreaming, aka not paying attention during a lecture in class, when my black friend and I came up with the idea of a KKK-mart. So I googled the term -- just like I googled "Nazi Shopping Channel" when I came up with that idea -- and it turns out Margaret Cho has already incorporated the notion of a racist superstore into her comedy monologue.

As they say, great minds think alike.

Religious Right Tightens Grip

This picture of Republican big-shot Bill Frist addressing an audience of church-goers made me groan. It's now clearer than ever that the Religious Right is the dominant force in the Republican party. And with the rise of the Religious Right comes an increased focus on waging jihad against homosexuals, erecting the Ten Commandments outside courtrooms, force-feeding human vegetables, and imposing moral uniformity on the nation.



I consider myself a Republican; I will likely vote Republican when I turn 18. That said, I'm not at all happy with the state of the party. Our leader in Congress, Tom DeLay, is a crook. The party is failing on almost every front to reign in government spending. Social Security privatisation has hit a dead-end. Tax reform is virtually a non-issue. And the deficit is expanding at at the rate of Kirstie Alley's waistline.

You'd expect that a Republican monopoly in Congress would make more progress in implementing a conservative agenda. You'd be wrong.

Call It What You Want

(h/t: Nate)

Sneak-Peek

The U.S. claims that North Korea may be on the verge of testing a nuclear bomb. Here's a stunning preview of what we can expect to see should the Norks decide to set-off some atomic weaponry underground.




SEE ALSO:
This and this.

The Male Brain

Golf is Gay

I'd try to make a pun on the term "hole-in-one", but that would just be lame.

A Legend Lost

Funniest. Man. Alive.

Wheelchair Levis

Wow, that is one fashionable quadiplegic!

Pants designed for sitting look great and are more comfortable for sitting. They also help
prevent pressure sores.

New Yorkers Say the Darndest Things

This is pretty funny: a continually updated collection of random witticisms overhead in New York. Example:

My life is beginning to feel distinctly like the Special Olympics.
--Some Guy, 10th & Broadway

WARNING: Contains '24' Season 4 Spoilers

The fact that I'm in the middle of watching a season of 24 in which Arab terrorists (1) commandeer a Stealth plane, (2) shoot down Air Force One, (3) snatch the nuclear football out of the debris, and (4) use the codes contained therein to steal a nuclear warhead, makes this report that al-Qaeda kingpin Abu Zarqawi has acquired a nuclear device all the more disturbing.

Dubya's Double

This man's impersonation of President Bush is so spot-on it frightened me.

"Bush" on Jeopardy
"Bush" on the Economy
"Bush" on Dick Cheney



Will Ferrell's impression is pretty damn good as well.

Grecian

It's actually a word.

So...

Today I learned that pineapples grow from the ground rather than on trees. WTF?

If At First You Don't Succeed...

Pick your self up and...
try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try...

again.

Heh.

Another clever ad from Virgin Air:



And here's the other one...

Play God

This is a sadistically wonderful game. Enjoy.

Who Killed John Paul?

Liberal Larry of Blamebush was kind enough to leave this incisive and thought-provoking spiel in the comments section:

Notice how Bush hasn't ordered our flags to fly at half mast? Strange, isn't it? Perhaps it's because Bush had something to do with the Pope's sudden and mysterious death. I have it on good authority that Bush actually travelled to the Vatican last June under a shroud of secrecy. Was he there to warn the Pope against endorsing same-sex marriage? Or was it the Pope's stance against Bush's illegal and immoral War on Terror that awakened the sleeping chimp?

The circumstances surrounding the Pope's death are as cloudy as Tom Sizemore's urine. I hope the 9/11 widows call for an investigation before any more innocent pontiffs succomb to the machinations of the Bush junta.

Although Bush's involvement in the Pontiff's mysterious "passing" is indeed a possibility, I find it more likely that the Pope was taken out by the Mossad in order to implement the global Zionist conspiracy.

But that's just me.

Welcome to the 19th Century

Saudi Arabia Bans Forced Marriage

The Oldest Domains

Here's a list of the first domain names ever registered. Surprisingly I haven't noticed any that include the words, "hot", "wet", or "college girls".

Budweiser and Butt-bangers

A shocking expose proves how cracking open a cold one (no reference to necrophilia intended) directly benefits the international gay conspiracy...



But the conspiracy doesn't end with Bud... Homo Depot and Hamas are in on the flamboyant act, as well.


P.S. Speaking of queer beer...

Recommended by Pedophiles Everywhere

I bet Michael Jackson has a cabinet full of this stuff.

Let's Hope They Don't Bite

Woman Breastfeeds New-born Tiger Cubs


SEE ALSO:
This.

That Movie Preview Voice

This guy's take on that voice in the movie previews brought me to tears.

(WARNING: One of the ads on the website is pornographic.)

I'm Back

Sorry it's been such a long time since the last update. I've been extremely sick for the past two weeks and I just couldn't find the energy to dig up random crap on the Internet and post in on the website.

But now I'm (almost) fully recovered and more eager than ever to get back to business!

The Least of Her Worries

My Ideal Roommate

Neat; owns a cat; smells like fish.

The Negro Space Program

The video I linked to a few days ago is a clip taken from a ten minute documentary on NASSA, the little-known Negro Space Program that briefly flourished during the sixties. You can watch the full-length film here.

Cybersex Gone Awry

These conversations won't turn you on but they will make you laugh...

I.F.: You ready yet? Im bearing to go!
SexyKarla17: Yhea im slipping out of my clothes right now, what do you look like?
I.F.: a Kodiac bear
SexyKarla17: ?
I.F.: Im soft naked, fuzzy and waiting for you to come mount me
SexyKarla17: Oh I love cute fuzzy bears, I walk up and get on top of you stroking your soft hair, kissing you gently as my move my way down your stomach
I.F.: I growl to warm you my cubs are near
SexyKarla17: huh?
I.F.: Bears get f**kin pumped when anyone is near their cubs
Sexkarla17: yhea hehe dont be silly..
SexyKarla17: I love how you growl as I continue to kiss you, while taking off your pants.
I.F.: Bears dont wear pants and you should cover yourself in Honey now
SexyKarla17: hehe you would love to lick that off me huh. I pour honey all over my warm wet body waiting for you to start licking it off me slowly
I.F.: I sniff the air to see where the sweet scent of the honey is coming from, while slowly snorting and walking towards you
I.F.: I Growl again, and start to bite you
SexyKarla17: Yhea that feels good..ooooo...not too hard now
I.F.: I bite harder peeling flesh from your stomach, and look up into your eyes to show you my mouth dripping with your warm blood mixed with honey, I then I let my cubs rip apart your limbs and play with you like a ragdoll.
SexyKarla17: what the f**k?
I.F.:uuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh and im spent.

Make a Feminist Scream

Wear this t-shirt.

Something's Not Right Here...

I bet Michael Jackson would be happy to work at this children's hospital...



(h/t: a little more to the right)

BREAKING NEWS

POPE STILL DEAD

UPDATE: Yup, he's definitely still dead.

LOL!

This video is so funny it floored me.

They'd Have to Pay ME

I feel enormous pity for the sex-starved, middle-aged men of St. Paul, Minnesota, as the prostitues in that town are extremely non-good-looking.

By the way, this girl's my favorite:



Is it me, or does she sort of resemble the wife from Everybody Love's Raymond?

(Mischievous hat-tip: Jeff)

UPDATE: Woopsie! Did I call those people prostitutes? My mistake. I should have called them sex workers people whose profession it is to exchange erotic favors for cash payments.

Don't Bring a Samurai Sword to a Gunfight

A samurai-sword-weilding nutjob in Germany ran amok in a Protestant church, killing one and injuring three.

When I heard about this story on the BBC, it ocurred to me that if this had happened in an American church, that guy would have been immediately gunned down, most likely with an assault weapon.

BREAKING NEWS

POPE STILL DYING

UPDATE: OK, he's dead now.

Game Over

(click to enlarge)

For Those Interested...

Here's a website chronicling acts of bestiality from around the globe. It makes for a juicy read...

(Surprisingly, Osama bin Laden and his camel lover are not mentioned.)