The Pimp

Today, the Pope, who is known to wear Gucci sunglasses, had words of divine wisdom for the world. In light of this economic crisis, he declared, it is clear that 'money and ambition are futile.'

Agreed. So he should immediately liquidate the Catholic Church's futile, but considerable, real estate assets and financial investments, which total well over 1 trillion U.S. dollars. Perhaps he'd like to endow them on the world's meek?

He added, 'The world financial system is built on sand.' If that is so, the Catholic Church is the world's largest sand castle. It owns more real estate than any organization on Earth.

God only knows how much gold and how many catamites are detained in the Vatican.