Holy Cows and Evil Demons

Monday, July 12, 2004
Cow Lick

Thousands of sick Cambodians are paying to be licked by a "holy cow" rumored to possess magical healing powers.

Cambodians lining up for miracle lick

Thousands of ill Cambodians are flocking to this northern village to be licked by a mystical cow named Preah who is curing their complaints, its owner has claimed.

Farmer Puch Pich said up to 400 people have been turning up daily for the past fortnight to be slobbered over, after the 13-month-old white beast apparently cured his wife Kong Mich of a chronic illness. They have been braving Cambodia’s notoriously bad rainy season roads to travel from around the kingdom, paying 500 riel per person for four licks on the limb or body part of their choice.

“The cow won’t lick people who don’t put in their money... and if he doesn’t think you believe in his powers, he won’t lick you either,” Puch Pich quipped.

[Read the rest...]

True Fiction

In other news that proves that the Third World is a seriously screwed-up place, an African town has hired trained sorcerers to purge the local primary school of evil demon spirits that are remored to be casting spells on students, causing them to "undress" and "foam around the mouth".

The man accused of unleashing the demons, Mr. Sserunkuuma, has defended himself by claiming that he lost control of the demons after he was unable to come up with the 300 virgin girls and several cows that the evil spirits had demanded in "blood sustenance".

And we wonder why Africa's impoverished and sickly.